With an estimated divorce rate of up to 50% (or more) these days, many wonder if it is even possible to have a happy and successful marriage.
The truth is, it is possible to have a happy marriage and many people still do. The challenge, however, is that in today’s society a marriage has a lot of negative stereotypes exist that must be overcome in order to achieve this success.
In this article you will learn the secret tips that many successful marriages utilize to ensure happiness and longevity throughout their married lives.
How To Stay Married & Stay Happy
To get to the bottom of what it takes to have a successful marriage, you must first look at those who have one. After all, if you want to learn something, you should go to someone who knows how to do it. If you want to be rich, imitate a rich person’s habits. Want to be smart? Copy a smart person’s habits, etc.
When you start looking at those who have a successful marriage, some key elements will start to jump out. You will notice that successful marriages usually have many things in common. If you and your spouse can learn to implement these things into your marriage, you to can ensure that your marriage will grow & prosper.
The list below will help to provide insight into common characteristics and traits that successful marriages tend to share. When we say successful marriages, we mean marriages that usually last a lifetime & both individuals are happy.
11 Tips to Having a Happy & Successful Marriage
1. Put each other before anyone else…PERIOD! Most successful marriages will put each other first. That means the spouse comes before friends, work, etc.
2. Don’t talk about each other to your friends or relatives in a negative way. This is almost strange. Most couples that have a happy marriage, do not talk about their personal problems or about each other to anyone else. This may be hard to eliminate, but if you do it can work wonders. Instead, talk to each other about anything that is annoying you. Never gossip to other people about your spouse…EVER!
3. Communicate to each other. This means everything. Communicate your feelings, your dreams, your disappointments, your desires, your fears…EVERYTHING! If you talk openly, you will understand each other much better. This prevents a lot of fights, and by expressing yourself through communication you can strengthen your bond.
4. Avoid Drugs. Things like alcohol, pills, marijuana, and other drugs can alter your sense of perception. It can also drain finances and health. Most couples that stay together, do not do any kind of drugs.
5. Never talk about the opposite sex being attractive-in fact, don’t even think it! This sounds so simple, but my wife & I never say something like “I think that person is attractive.” That is disrespectful to your spouse. Most people that have successful marriages NEVER do this simply because if you are thinking in your head all the time whether or not someone is attractive, it can very easily lead to an affair down the road. Of course there may be people who are attractive in the world. The thing is, you only need one! After you get yours, focus on that and forget about anyone else.
6. Never Cheat…EVER! Something like cheating can rip out the other person’s heart. It destroys your faith, trust, and love in that person. In most cases, it will inevitably lead to divorce as well. If things are getting dull in your relationship, work to spice it up by trying new things. I like a comment I once heard on television that goes “If you are having a problem with your spouse, don’t go out & find another man/woman. Then you will only have 2 problems.”
7. Spend time with each other (and lots of it)! This is so important. If you do not spend quality time with your spouse on a daily basis, your marriage can quickly dwindle. Of course, occasionally things may come up where you will not have a lot of time to spend. In this case, you must make time. A marriage will bring much more happiness than money, jobs, or anything else that is taking your time.
8. Treat each other with respect. Your spouse is the person who you will likely be spending most of your life with. You should respect his or her feelings, love them with all of your heart, and strive to make each other happy.
9. Verbal fighting, disagreements, and arguments are normal if done on rare occasions. Even the happiest & most successful marriages will have occasional fights or disagreements. This is normal. Sometimes a spouse may have a different view point on something. Or perhaps one spouse is neglecting or doing something selfish or inappropriate. This can quickly create strong negative emotions that lead to a verbal fight or argument. The best thing to do is to work it out. Compromise on things. Or if one person was in the wrong then that person should sincerely apologize & make it right.
10. Compliment each other often & say positive things. Never put each other down unless you are just “teasing” each other. Strive to say positive things about each other. Say things like, “You look great today” or “You worked really hard today, I’m proud of you.” Think of ways to praise each other & build each other’s self esteem. This will bring you closer, and make you feel more positive about life.
11. Make love often! Making love releases powerful chemicals & emotions within the body that bond you to your spouse. Each time you make passionate love, you increase that bond. Also, both partners should strive to please each other. However, avoid things like looking at pornographic material or other inappropriate things. This can break up a relationship & lead to destruction almost as fast as cheating.
Some of these things may seem too hard to do. But in many successful marriages, both partners will usually have these characteristics. If you think about it, it really makes common sense. Simply treat people how they should be treated. Do what you should do. Marriages are 50/50. Both partners must do their own part & work on the marriage.
A marriage is a real thing that requires constant work. It is not something you do one day, and then never put effort into it again. Marriages are like jobs. You wouldn’t go to a job, work hard for a few days or weeks, and then quit working would you? If you did that then you would most certainly get fired and the job wouldn’t work anymore.
Likewise, if you have a marriage you must constantly work to keep it happy. If you don’t, then you will usually start experiencing problems that could lead to a divorce if not corrected.
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Posted under Relationships
This post was written by Ben on April 24, 2009
