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How to Prevent a Divorce & Save Your Marriage

These days, statistics say that the divorce rate is nearly 50%.  This means that approximately half of all marriages will end in a divorce.  Shocking huh! Add that to the fact that divorces are expensive, painful (to both the partners & any children), and a real tragedy.

So if you & your spouse are having trouble, what are some things that you can do to prevent the Big D (divorce)?

Here are 10 simple things you can do to boost your relationship & help to prevent a divorce.

 

10 Ways to Help Prevent a Divorce

1. Communicate- You must communicate your feelings to your partner. People are NOT mind readers. They may be doing something to upset you, and they may have no idea. Always communicate everything- your fears, your desires, your problems, the things they are doing that aggravate you, etc. Also, do it in a nice way that won’t offend them.

2. Be Faithful- Being faithful is a must! Nothing rips out your heart & breaks your trust like infidelity. Keep you eyes on your spouse only, and avoid any temptation.

3. Be Forgiving- We all make mistakes. Both you and your spouse will make plenty of them during the course of your marriage. Learn to let the little things go. After all, live is short and it would be better to be happy & forgiving than miserable & bitter.

4. Be Romantic- You must always add spice to your relationship! If you don’t have the element of curiosity & surprise, then things can get dull very quickly. Every marriage will lose that “honeymoon” feeling after you have been together long enough, but that doesn’t mean you have to be dull. Add spice to your relationships by trying new things. Work to break up those routines you may find yourselves getting into. Don’t be afraid to flirt & do things spontaneously.

5. Stay Attractive- Out of respect for yourself & for your spouse, try to stay attractive looking. This means exercise to stay in shape, keep your hair maintained, look your best, act your best, and be your best. You owe it to yourselves & each other!

6. Confide- You should confide & trust each other more than anyone else in your life. Marriages are unique. It is a union between a man & a woman. As the bible states, two join to become one flesh-and you do just that literally! You will become one person. Your personalities will rub off, your habits, everything. Even your kids will be both of you in 1 fleshly body (50% your DNA, 50% your spouses DNA). Your spouse will experience things & share a life with you. It only makes since that you should always put each other first. Do not have secrets, do not trust others more. You should confide everything, trust with all your heart, and be there for each other throughout your entire lives.

7. Build Each Other Up- In this world, it can be so hard to succeed. You have the stress of a career, family, and so much more. Work hard to build a life with your spouse, but most importantly, build each other. You should always work to encourage, support, & build up your spouse so they can reach their true potential & they should return the favor.  Believe in them no matter what. Even if it turns out they were dead wrong, failed miserably, had the craziest idea in the world, or made a mistake. The simple fact that you believed in them will always be remembered (even after the failure is forgotten).

8. Be Friends- Make your spouse your best friend. Sure, you may have differences, but always be each other’s best friend. Laugh together, do things together, play games together, cry together, travel together, fail together, succeed together—just do everything together!

9. Take a Look- Marriages need maintenance. Just like your car needs oil changes, your hair needs cutting, your house needs painting, etc.  In the same respect, marriages need to change, adapt, & grow. You don’t just get married & then quit! That is the equivalent of getting hired for a job & then just “showing up” every day only to sit & play games on the computer. You must do the work. Marriages take work & lots of it. You must take a step back & look at your marriage. I do this on a regular basis. Ask yourself how things are going. Do things need to be changed? Do you need to do this more or this less? Then communicate with your spouse & ask for their opinions. Every couple should do this on a regular basis (ex. weekly, monthly, etc.)

10. Love- Never forget that you love each other. Get out old pictures of when you first met. Tell each other stories about your first dates/kiss, etc. Keep the love alive. Love is a powerful bond that can overcome anything. Always remember that it was love that brought you two together, and NOTHING will ever tear you apart!

Good luck with your marriage & God bless!

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This post was written by Ben on April 24, 2009

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How to Become a Positive or Optimistic Person

Let’s face it–we live in a mostly negative world.  If you are trying to live a happy & fulfilling life, it can be difficult when other negative people try to constantly bring your mood down.

However, it is important to maintain a positive attitude.  But if you are having family members, co-workers, friends, or others that just can’t seem to stop being negative & pessimistic, here are a few things you can do to avoid catching their disease of negativity.

 

Common Causes of Negativity

First, to avoid negativity in your relationships with people, you need to understand the reasons why people often become negative.

There can be many reasons why people have negative personalities, but the main reason comes down to one word: unhappiness.

Their unhappiness can stem from almost anything: an unfulfilling career, bad financial situation, loss of a loved one, bad relationships, health problems, lack of faith, drug abuse, psychological problems, and much more.

Often times, people will become bitter, cynical, and unhappy when their is a problem in their life. So to combat this negativity you may want to understand the source. If it is someone you are close to, you may want to help this person over come the “source” or “problem” that is causing the negativity. For example, if they hate their jobs, help them find a new one.

Also, try to be a “positive” role model by showing them how to think positive things.  If they start to steer a conversation into a negative thing, then briefly change the subject into something exciting & positive. Show them the good in any situation. This is one way you can turn a negative into a positive.

It is always important to try & be a source of positive thinking for the people around you.  Energy & emotions are absolutely contagious.  By being a positive influence, you can help change the people around you.

 

What to do if your friends/relatives are negative anyways?

If you try to help the person be trying the things above & it doesn’t work, then love them anyways.  Sometimes you have to be a better person & show someone that even though they are negative, you still care about them. 

Continue to influence them & be a positive force in their life.  If, however, they are extremely bitter & negative, you may want to distance yourself from them a bit.  The last thing you want is for their negativity to rub off on you.

Whatever you do, remain positive.  Of course, there will be situations where it will be impossible to stay positive (such as losing a love one). However, always strive to think positive things.

Positive thinking may not solve all of the problems in the world, but one thing is for sure, it is easier to do ANYTHING with a positive attitude than it is with a negative attitude–that is a fact!

Don’t Give up-Stay positive!

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Posted under Relationships

This post was written by Ben on April 24, 2009

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